How to have the conversation you are avoiding

The conversation you are avoiding is rarely difficult because of the other person. It is difficult because you have not decided what you want from it.

Try four sentences. Here is what happened. Here is the effect it had. Here is what I would like instead. Here is what I want to know from you.

Vagueness feels kind. It usually just postpones the cost.

Notice that none of them require a diagnosis of the other person's character. Describe behaviour and impact, request a change, then stop talking.

Expect it to be shorter than the version you have rehearsed. Anticipation is almost always longer than the event.

Schedule it. A conversation without a time is a wish, and wishes accumulate interest.